well, it's the 30th of december today.
on the 2nd last day of 2007,
the only thing i can say is that, i'll miss 2007.
missing COSI a lot )':
and HISC, even though i can go back anytime i want.
but looking at next year, the sec 4 year, i probably wouldn't be able to find the time.
sigh.
and i still can't find that stupid jacket of mine.
although there was some progress with potcargrape's help, i'm back to square one AGAIN.
WHY AM I SO CARELESS

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then i remember this little boy i saw at NUH, his name is zhi quan.
he's only 8 years old. but the first time he got fits, he got hospitalised and went into a coma for 5 weeks.
only recently he had woken up and got transfered out of the ICU.
i remember the tear stained face of his poor mum, struggling so hard not to cry as she told us the fate of her poor little boy.
they were buddhists, but still, knowing we were christians, they said to pray for them.
and we did, for both zhi quan and his mum.
then, his mum started crying.
so we comforted her and she felt better.
but, zhi quan woke up, and then, he broke out in tears, crying out so loudly in pain.
his mum, crying, told him that he was a strong boy and he would get past this illness.
he toned down, and his mum, knowing he was tired, asked him to go to sleep.
then he fell asleep.
when shermeen put her hand on the little boy's head and stroked his hair, she said this:

"when you feel helpless and tired, and you feel that you have no one to go to; when you're in pain and you can't stop it, call Jesus' name. call His name, and you'll feel better."

at that moment, i saw a tear drop down from zhi quan's left eye.
and really, i wanted to cry, so badly.
i knew it was a stronger calling, that i was to be a doctor, a paediatrician, something that i've always desired.
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i realise that i really really like you.
but will i wait?
my brain tells me no but my heart tells me go. tell me how.